WHEN SHOULD I HAVE SEX?

I do not think Christians have to bother whether it is sin to have sex before marriage or not. Scripture teaches us it is sin to have sex before marriage. If you look at a woman and you lust after her, you have sinned (Matthew 5:27-28). How much more terrible is it if you have sex with her when you are not married to her?

So, if you asked; when should one have sex?

Man is a special creature of all God's creation (Psalms 8:3-8). And He (God) made everything about man special, including the game of sex.

Human sex is therefore a game that is ring-fenced by certain rules and regulations. It should exclusively be a game for the married couples. And if it is a game of married people, it so should be that the consenting parties are pretty prepared for it. Rather it must be for people who are pretty ready for marriage.

How and when is one married?

Now, there are different patterns of marriage depending on the culture and the traditions of a particular people. But what is clear is that it must be between two consenting adults.

The parents of the two parties must bless the marriage. And then the clergy must sanction it and declare the two parties to have the space to entertain each other in every way that is in line with the practices of marriage.

Where is this in scripture?

• Abraham gave gifts to the parents of Rebecca so he could secure her for his son Isaac (Genesis 24). So, dowry is Biblical.

• Jesus attended the wedding at Cana (John 2:1-12). Jesus could have never attended something He did believe in.

• He who finds a wife finds favor before the Lord (Proverbs 18:22). It is he who finds a wife who finds favor before the Lord, not he who finds a girl lover. 

So, sex is pretty a beauty and it was in God's plan for it to be the way it is. How and when we do it is what should be discussed if we are to do so.

Sex before marriage is ideally and morally wrong, and worst of all, it is sinful. Sin is severely and terribly consequential in the following ways:

• For he who sins is a slave of sin (John 8:34). 

• The wages of sin is death (Romans 6:23). 

Sex before marriage is called fornication. Jesus taught that FORNICATION is sin and which leads to condemnation by God (Mark 7:21). More scripture which teaches us that sex before marriage is sin:

"Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: [It is] good for a man not to touch a woman" (1Corinthians 7:1-40).

"Marriage [is] honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge" (Hebrews 13:4).

"And if a man entice a maid that is not betrothed, and lie with her, he shall surely endow her to be his wife" (Exodus 22:16).

"Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body" (1Corinthians 6:18-20).

"Nevertheless, [to avoid] fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband" (1 Corinthians 7:2).

"Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are [these]; Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness..." (Galatians 5:19-21).

Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh (Genesis 2:24).

"For this is the will of God, [even] your sanctification, that ye should abstain from fornication:.." (1Thessalonians 4:3).

"Mortify therefore your members which are upon the earth; fornication, uncleanness, inordinate affection, evil concupiscence, and covetousness, which is idolatry:.." (Colossians 3:5).

"For all that [is] in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world" (1John 2:16).

"Meats for the belly, and the belly for meats: but God shall destroy both it and them. Now the body [is] not for fornication, but for the Lord; and the Lord for the body" (1Corinthians 6:13).

"[And] lest, when I come again, my God will humble me among you, and [that] I shall bewail many which have sinned already, and have not repented of the uncleanness and fornication and lasciviousness which they have committed" (2Corinthians 12:21).

The devil uses man to manipulate God's creation. He (the devil) seeks to manipulate the idea and the intention behind creation to the extent that we have now been reduced to discussing whether  homosexuality is right or not.

God loves it that we have covenant children. We can only have Covenant children in holy marriage (Malachi 2:15).

Jesus manifested in the flesh so to put right all that went wrong. If our fore fathers erred on this, we of today should endeavor (by the help of the Holy Spirit) to bring things back to the way that glorifies God.

If you are caught to have gotten saved/born again while in an unholy marriage, you have no other choice but to put things right by going to church and be joined in holy marriage.

If you have done all things the right way, you should never again bother yourself with whatever happened before you accepted Jesus to be your LORD and SAVIOR. When we accept Jesus to be LORD and SAVIOR, we are cleansed of all the past.

NB Sex is for us to enjoy. But consider it as a game which is governed by certain rules and regulations. If you break the rules of the game, how then can you be crowned the winner?! For the rules and regulations of the game are pretty much part of the victory.

A brief of the rules and the regulations of sex:

• Sex is between married couples

• It is between two consenting parties

• It is between husband and wife

• It is supposed to bring both Spiritual and physical satisfaction.

• It must be a uniting factor

• It must be productive

So, have you already had sex? Are you married? Have you corrected the wrongs of the past? Where do you intend to go from now? What do you intend to do? How will you do it? What will it be for?

 Yet you can do better than this if you will.